Stevie

A Powerful Message from Stevie  Wonder On Michael Jackson's Death…
 
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Deep stuff hey?  
I nearly cried when he said ... ..   .  ..  . .. .. … .. ... . . .... ......   

WAL MART INTERVIEW

Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink!  It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
 

You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on

Smart Indian Kid

It  was the first day of school in the USA for a new  Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian  entered the fourth grade.

The teacher  said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American  History. Who said 'Give me Liberty or give me  Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces,  except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand  up.

"Patrick Henry, in 1775," he  said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of  the People, by the People, for the People, shall  not perish from the Earth'?"

Again, no  response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham  Lincoln, in 1863," said  Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the  class, "Class, you should be ashamed...  Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows  more about its history than you do."

She  heard a loud whisper, "Damn those  Indians."

"Who said that?" she  demanded.

Chandrasekhar put his hand up.  "General Custer, in 1862."

At that point,  a student in the back said, "I'm gonna  puke."

The teacher glares around and  asks, "All right! Now, who said  that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George  Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, in  1991."

Now furious, another student  yells, "Oh yeah? Suck  this!"

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his  chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,  "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, in  1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria  someone said, "You little shit. If you say  anything else, I'll kill  you."

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at  the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the  child witnesses testifying against him, in  2004."

The teacher fainted.

And as  the class gathered around the teacher on the  floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're  screwed!"

AND CHANDRASEKHAR SAID QUIETLY,  "I THINK IT WAS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, NOVEMBER 4,  2008."