Friday, November 10, 2006

Happy Veterans Day!


http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1545489532

*From James - I hope there is no issue with displaying this link on my website, if there is please notify me and I will remove this post.  I recieved this in my e-mail and thought it was worth sharing with the world.  Thanks, James*

For Those Born between 1930-1979

TO ALL THE KIDS

WHO SURVIVED the

1930's 40 's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

 


First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.


Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

 


We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.


Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.



We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.



We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and


NO ONE actually died from this.

 


We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .


WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING
!

 


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
when the streetlights came on.

 


No one was able to reach us all day.

 


And we were O.K.




We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down
the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games
at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

 


We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no

lawsuits from these accidents.

 


We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

 


We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno cked on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

 


Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

 


The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

 


They actually sided with the law!


These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

 


The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

 


We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

 


HOW TO


DEAL WITH IT ALL!

 


If YOU are one of them . .
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives


for our own good

 


And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

 

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Eating Right

According  to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right  doesn't have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to  tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors.  Greens, reds, yellows.  In fact, I did that this morning. I  had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I never knew eating  right could be so easy.

I now have a whole new outlook on  life.

Kite

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.  He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back earth.  He tries this a few more times with no success. 

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband,  "You need a piece of tail."  The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Monday, November 06, 2006

Decoding men and women

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
Adventurous..............................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking...................Moooo.
Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first.....................Former slut.
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing..........................................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................Bitch.
Voluptuous........................Very Fat.
Large frame..........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker. 
 
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10.You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
 
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.