Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Geography Of A Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently aging; but still warm
and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and
all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost some wars, won some
great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia , very wide and borders are
now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet . Off the beaten path, with a mysterious
past and the wisdom of the ages...still desirable but only those with an
adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true
love, dare visit there.

...Geography Of A Man
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick.

Prayer

 

Prayer Wheel
Let's see the devil stop this one!

Here's what the wheel is all about.

When you receive this, say a prayer for the person that sent it to you....That's all you have to do....There is nothing attached....This is so powerful....Just send this to seven people and watch God's answer
to prayer work in your life. Do not stop the wheel, please.... Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the very best one..... There are no costs, but wonderful rewards.... Let's continue praying for one another..


A Prayer
 Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this right now.  I am asking You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there

is pain, give them

Your peace and mercy.  Where there is self doubting, release a renewed confidence in Your ability to work through them. Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, patience, and strength as they learn submission to your leading.  Where there is spiritual stagnation, I ask You to renew them by revealing Your nearness, and by drawing them into greater intimacy with You.
Where there is fear, reveal Your love, and release to them Your courage. Where there is a sin blocking them, reveal it, and break its hold over my friend's life. Bless their finances, give them greater vision, and raise up leaders, and friends to support, and encourage them. Give each of them discernment to recognize the evil forces around them, and reveal to them the power they have in You to defeat it. I ask You to do these things in Jesus' name.

AMEN  

In love, Your Friend !!


Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend will bless you both.  Passing this on to one not considered a friend is something
Christ
would do
.

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank, which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplie d and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

My! How Time Flies

This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turns 34.
 Can you believe it?

 It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on  her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Sex Fairy

The Irish Sex
Fairy
Be sure to read
the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with
the Irish Sex Fairy!
1. Sex is a beauty
treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce
amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed
lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and
blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin
glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can
burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of
the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about
every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, or
jogging 20 blocks and you don't need special sneakers!
=============
5. Sex is an
instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the
bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a
feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex
you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives
off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex
perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
=============
7 Sex is the
safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN
VALIUM.
=============
8. Kissing each
day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food
from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay,
preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually
relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that
restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of
lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It
can help combat asthma and hay fever.
=============
This message has
been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the
basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine
times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Irish Sex Fairy" will visit
you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn,
send it on.
If you don't, then
you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You
will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall
off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who
doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.
Do not keep this
message. This message must leave your e-mail in 5 hours. Please send ten
copies and see what happens in four days.
I sent it to 122
people so, If you don't hear from me for a few days you will know why
!!!!