Monday, May 14, 2012

Lots of laughs



GOOD  SAMARITAN
A Sunday  school teacher was telling her class the story of the  Good
Samaritan. 
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside,  all
wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl  broke
the hushed silence, 
"I think I'd throw up.."


DID NOAH  FISH?
A Sunday  school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing  when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he,
with just  two worms." 


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher  decided to have her young class memorize one of
the most quoted passages  in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the  chapter. Little Rick was excited about
the task - but he just couldn't  remember the Psalm. After much practice,
he could barely get past the  first line. On the day that the kids were
scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in  front of the 
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he  stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd,  and that's
all I need to know."


UNANSWERED  PRAYER
The  preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and  bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day,  she
asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was  so
observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a  good
sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.


BEING  THANKFUL
A Rabbi  said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers  for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The  little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"


ALL MEN / ALL  GIRLS
When my  daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family  member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).. For
several  weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, "And  all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to
include this  closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
"Kelli, why do  you always add the part about 
all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their  prayers
by saying 'All Men'!"


SAY A  PRAYER
Little  Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's  house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.  "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said
his mother. "I don't  need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do" his
mother insisted. "We  always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house."  Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house
and she knows how to  cook.


THE  BIBLE
Did you know  that... When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache.
When you open it,  he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints.
Let's read the  Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one day
he'll have a  stroke and
never  wake up. And did you also know that when you are about to forward
this  email to others, The devil will discourage you but forward  it
anyway.