Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new
program began unexpected child processing
that took up a lot of space and valuable
resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself
into all other programs and now monitors
all other system activity. Applications
such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about
going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the
uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....
_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men
complain about. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that
it is just a Utilities and Entertainment
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete
Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the
program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because
Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look
in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0
and work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application "Yes Dear"
to alleviate software augmentation. The best
course of action is to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have
to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to
be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with
several support programs, such as Clean and
Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system
to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,
install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This
application is not supported by Wife 1.0
and will cause irreversible damage to the
operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You need to fix your pages so they don't chop off the end of the lines.

John

Jason said...

Fixed this post... the auto populator that I set up for this blog doesn't seem to handle that aspect too well :-(

I'll have to update my other posts in time that have the same problem

thnx