Funny!

An Idaho farmer got in his pickup, drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 12 opened the door.

"Is your dad home?" the farmer asked.

"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well, said the farmer, is your mom here?"

"No sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"He went with mom and dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer dad."

"Well, said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded.

"If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."

No Christmas In Wash. DC this year

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year!



The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene



in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.


This isn't for any religious reason.


They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's
Capitol.


A search for a Virgin continues.





There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

The Poll Results Are In

An exhaustive scientific poll was taken by the Texas governor's office
wherein over 300,000 Texas residents were asked whether they think illegal
immigration is a serious problem in Texas:

21% responded, "Yes, it is a serious problem."

79% responded, "No es una problema seriosa."

Economy Fix!

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg , FL Times Newspaper on Sunday.

The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"

I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings -

Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered-

Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage-

Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, please disregard. Then shoot yourself!!!! 1 job opening

Good information

This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.
 
GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game.
 
Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans.
 
Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been
prominently mounted on the dashboard.
 
When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.
 
The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so
they knew how much time they had to clean out the house.
 
It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.
 
MOBILE PHONES
I never thought of this..........

This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names onher mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen.
 
20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phonetelling him what had happened, hubby says 'Ireceived your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'
 
When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their
bank account.
 
Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list.

Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....

And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.