This Is Not A Lawyer Joke

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,
"Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make.
The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his
way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case
her way.
 

In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the
defense."

TOILET PAPER

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER   Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of
the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he
uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will
this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the
years?'

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk
again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a
straw.

Stupid, stupid man!
 

First time sex

 

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time

      The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.
     A t the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
 T  h e boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!'
      The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist.'

DEER MEAT

DEER MEAT

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat
It is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they
Begged their dad for the clue.
 
Well, he said,  'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother

'Don't eat it, it's an asshole..

Can I borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year
old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why
you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish
frivolity's.' T he little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's
questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After
about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and
he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of
the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' He
asked. 'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy. 'I've been thinking,
maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long
day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you
asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!'
He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled
up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get
angry again. The little boy slowly counted out hi s money, and then
looked up at his father. 'Why do you want more money if you already
have some?' the father grumbled. Because I didn't have enough, but now
I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an
hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to
have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you
working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our
fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to
us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of
your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave
behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.


Can I Borrow $25?

BLONDE LOGIC

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing light s and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde we re talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & ; Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

NAME THOSE DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Breakfast At The White House

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White 
House.
The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies,
"I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"
George W., looking up from his menu, replies with his trademark wink
and a grin, "How about a quickie this morning?'
"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims, "How rude! You're
starting to act like Mr. Clinton!"
As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and
whispers .."It's pronounced, 'Quiche' ".

Top Ten Country Western Songs

Top Ten Country Western Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a
Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

 3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

 1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All  Day
Long.

Job Search

John Smith started the day early having set his
Alarm clock

   

(MADE IN  JAPAN ) for 6am .

While his coffeepot

   

(MADE IN CHINA )

   

  Was perking, he shaved with his

   

Electric razor

   

 (MADE IN HONG KONG ).

   

He put on a

   

Dress shirt  

   

 (MADE IN SRI LANKA ),

 

   

Designer jeans

   

(MADE IN SINGAPORE )

   

 And

   

Tennis shoes

   

(MADE IN KOREA )

   

 After cooking his breakfast in his new

   

Electric skillet

   

 (MADE IN INDIA )

 

   

He sat down with his

   

Calculator

   

 (MADE IN MEXICO )

   

To see how much he could spend today. After setting his

   

Watch

   

 (MADE IN TAIWAN )

   

To the radio

   

(MADE IN INDIA )

   

He got in his car

   

(MADE IN GERMANY )

   

Filled it with GAS

   

 (from Saudi Arabia )

   

And continued his search

 

   

For a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

   

At the end

   

Of yet another discouraging

   

 And fruitless day

   

Checking his

   

Computer

   

(Made In Malaysia ),

   

 Joe decided to relax for a while.

   

 He put on his sandals

 

   

(MADE IN BRAZIL )

   

Poured himself a glass of

   

Wine

   

(MADE IN FRANCE )

 

   

And turned on his

   

TV

   

(MADE IN INDONESIA ),

   

And then wondered

   

Why he can't find

   

A good paying job

   

 In AMERICA ...

Y'all gotta Keep this one circulating, please.!

 

 

THE WORLD'S SHORTEST PSYCHIATRIC JOKE

 THE WORLD'S SHORTEST PSYCHIATRIC JOKE

 

 

 

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts."

What's More Costly than Iraq

Before you read the "cut and paste" of two e-mails
which were sent to me I will give you my take for
whatever it is worth:

If you read the below looking over your shoulder not
to offend the ILLEGAL Alien you hired/allow your
son-daughter to date/you married/allow to live next to
you- You are a part of the problem. Period!

If you say "just give the ILLEGAL Alien a chance" I
say just give me a chance to break down your door,
take your television set- because you have not been
watching the history channel. Just give me a chance.

If you give hollywood trillions of dollars "yearly" to
mass market thier Government is bad mind washing{dirty
corupt Cops,dirty corupt Government Officials, dirty
corupt Military,} Ect. by saying "it's just a movie-
You are a part of the problem. Period! If I made a
movie about rapping your 2 year old would you pay to
see it by saying it's just a movie.

Am I saying there is no Government corruption, no, I
am saying I challenge you to the {5}, meaning I will
give you 5 minutes and the last 5 years of movies to
name me 5 movies that had nothing to do with
Government corruption that was a top 5 grossing film.


Eddie Todd- Legal U.S Citizen



Oh, by the way, Lincoln was a Republican.

"You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the
strong. You cannot help small men by tearing down big
men. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the
wage-payer. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending
more than your income. You cannot further the
brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds. You
cannot build character and courage by taking away a
man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men
permanently by doing for them what they could and
should do for themselves."


Abraham Lincoln


What's More Costly than Iraq?

I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over
and over again until they are read so many times that
the reader gets sick of reading them. I have included
the URL's for verification of the following :

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to
illegal aliens each year.http://tinyurl.com/zob77

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food
assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free
school lunches for illegal
aliens.http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid
for illegal
aliens.http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and
secondary school education for children here illegally
and they cannot speak a word of
English!http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education
for the American-born children of illegal aliens,
known as anchor
babies.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate
illegal
aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are
illegal
aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal
aliens for Welfare and Social Services by the American
taxpayers.http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American
wages are caused by the illegal
aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

10.. The illegal aliens in the United States have a
crime rate that's two-and-a-half times that of white
non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are
going to make a huge additional crime problem in the
US.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION
illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also,
as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist
Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth,
heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the
Southern border.Homeland
SecurityReport.http://tinyurl.com/t9sht

12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the
total cost of mass deportation would be between $206
and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and
$46 billion annually over a five year
period."http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in
remittances back to their countries of
origin.http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One
Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In
The United States".http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

Total cost is a whooping... $338.3 BILLION A YEAR!!!

If this doesn't bother you then just delete the
message, but on the other hand, if it does raise the
hair on the back of your neck, then forward it.

Snopes is provided for doubters:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp

Social Security Change For 2008

The United States Senate voted to extend Social
Security Benefits to Illegal Aliens beginning in 2008.
The following are the senators who voted to give
illegal aliens Social Security benefits. They are
grouped by home state. If a state is not listed, there
was no voting representative.

Alaska: Stevens (R)
Arizona: McCain (R)
Arkansas: Lincoln (D) Pryor (D)
California: Boxer (D) Feinstein (D)
Colorado: Salazar (D)
Connecticut: Dodd (D) Lieberman (D)
Delaware: Biden (D) Carper (D)
Florida : Martinez (R)
Hawaii: Akaka (D) Inouye (D)
Illinois: Durbin (D) Obama (D)
Indiana: Bayh (D) Lugar (R)
Iowa: Harkin (D)
Kansas: Brownback (R)
Louisiana: Landrieu (D)
Maryland: Mikulski (D) Sarbanes (D)
Massachusetts: Kennedy (D) Kerry (D)
Montana: Baucus (D)
Nebraska: Hagel (R)
Nevada: Reid (D)
New Jersey: Lautenberg (D) Menendez (D)
New Mexico: Bingaman (D)
New York: Clinton (D) Schumer (D)
North Dakota: Dorgan (D)
Ohio: DeWine (R) Voinovich(R)
Oregon: Wyden (D)
Pennsylvania: Specter (R)
Rhode Island: Chafee (R) Reed (D)
South Carolina: Graham (R)
South Dakota: Johnson (D)
Vermont: Jeffords (I) Leahy (D)
Washington : Cantwell (D) Murray (D)
West Virginia: Rockefeller (D), by Not Voting
Wisconsin: Feingold (D) Kohl (D)
(note there are 9 Republicans, including
Presidential candidate McCain!)

Love Making

LOVE MAKING

 The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love I go down
 and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats
 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy."

 The Frenchman replies. zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze
 love, Ah kiss all ze way down her body, and zen Ah lick za soles of
 her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in
 pure ecstasy.

 The redneck says, "That aint nothing. When I've finished porkin the
 ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe my
 weiner on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....
* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You ever use your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light so you don't
have to wait for a commercial.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't
have to wait for a commercial.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside
...it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy
to get the barbecue grill to light.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
* You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.
* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a
pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
* You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
* You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle ."

Who's your best friend??

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you??

HEADLINE NEWS MAKER

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little
girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion
grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull
her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her
screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs
to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with
a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion
jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker
brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him
endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has seen the whole scene,
and addressing the biker, says 'Sir, this was the
most gallant and brave thing I have ever seen a man
do in my whole life.'

'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind
bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted
as I felt right.' said the biker.

'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a
journalist, you know, and tomorrow's papers will have
this on the first page. What motorcycle do you ride?'
asked the reporter.

'A Harley Davidson' said the biker.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see
if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads
the following headline on page one:

BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND
STEALS HIS LUNCH.

Morale of the Story

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

Get their parents to tell them a story with a morale at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes Ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Caren. She was a pilot
in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a
Survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then her
parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot
fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets. Killed four
more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last
Iraqi with her bare hands.

Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher.

"What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?

"Stay the Fuck away from Aunt Caren when she's drinking."

IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return,
her Father

cussed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even
a line? Why

didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a
prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur
coat, title deed to

a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me
little brother, this

gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition
convertible

that's parked outside plus a membership to the country
club........................

(takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend

New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a

Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug."

Off the wire

WARNING FROM PAKISTAN
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan ,
Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar,
warned the United States and Canada that if military
action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities
will cut off America 's and Canada 's
supply of convenience store managers.
And if this action does not yield sufficient results,
cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell and
Sprint customer service reps.
It's getting ugly.

Adios Amigos

Adios Amigos

 

Do you remember when Puerto Rico was raising heck about the US Navy using that nothing little island just off the coast of Puerto Rico for bombing practices, which they had used for the past 75 years?

 

Demonstrations were held; Hollywood left wingers, Al Sharpton, and his fellow demagogues went down there to demonstrate to get the Navy out

 

I am sure it infuriated you just as it did me at the time. Well, here is our revenge. Always be careful what you ask for, you just may get it!

 

One of the many headaches that the U.S. has had was the Puerto Rican island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton Administration protesters demand  that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gunfire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years.

 

In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida not far from Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Station s. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read "U. S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico."

 

The following February, Rumsfeld announced that the U. S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to have put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy.

 

The next day a stunned Governor Sila Calderon, held a news conference in San Juan protesting the base closure as a serious blow to the Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico.

 

When asked, the Commander-in-Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said, "Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads. None."

 

So, Yankee go home? Fine. But we'll take our DOLLARS with us. Hasta la vista, baby!

 

On February 21, the Secretary of Defense also announced that starting this year, the U.S. European Command would begin moving most, if not all, of its active combat and support units from bases in Germany to others being established in Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary and Turkey to "better position them for rapid deployment to likely hot spots in those parts of the world."

 

Immediately the business and government leaders in the German states of Hesse, Rinelandand Wurttemburg, protested the loss of nearly $6 billion US revenue each year from the bases and manpower to be displaced. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry speculated that the move may be "what the Americans call 'payback' for the actions of this government in opposing Military action in Iraq."

 

Does anyone know the German translation for: "Hasta la vista, baby?" I think "Aufwiedersehen, linesmen" is a good translation.

 

Oh, isn't it nice to see a government with guts and a good memory???

 

Also, here are some statistics and conclusions about a different subject.

 

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, when this was written) that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

 

The firearm death rate in Washington D. C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. (...and that was while handguns were outlawed!!)

 

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U. S. Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

 Conclusion: Just maybe the U.S. should pull out of Washington, D.C. !!!!

Bank Crisis Hits Japan

Bank Crisis Hits Japan

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock Bank in the U.K., financial uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after prices nose-dived. Also today, Cherry Blossom Financial Services is reported to be in the pits.

While Samurai Banks are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Banks are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.