Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Crude but worth it :-D

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771127

Very funny ... some language

And you thought your girlfriend was bad...


Sunday, August 09, 2009

Stunning list of achievements

Stunning list of achievements

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special
Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and
incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a
thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing
videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly
narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have
approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the
non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a
minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with
people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you
have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco
de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of
May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again,
would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word advice would you have
hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and
potatoe as "proof" of
what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a
single tr
ee on "Earth Day", would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low
over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan
causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually
"get" what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter
installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have
laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and
is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims
throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in
New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political
issue with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major
corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so,
would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had
taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you
have  approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again 10 times
within years, would you have approved?

 

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM
stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you
have approved?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take
Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant
and impressive? Can't think of anything?  Don't worry. He's done all
this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come
up with an answer.

It's a comin'...

 Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in Bozeman , 

 

Montana, while waiting for their respective flights...

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to  Billings  for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State Universityfrom the  Middle East .

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.  Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette.  The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

 
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many... but sadly, now we are few.'

 
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many.  Why do you suppose that is?'

 
The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl...

 
 
'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'.'

Two choices

At a  fundraising dinner for  a school that serves children with learning   disabilities, the father of one of the students  delivered a speech that  would never be forgotten  by all who attended. After extolling the school   and  its

dedicated staff, he offered a  question:

'When not interfered  with  by outside influences, everything nature does, is done  with   perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn  things as other children do.  He cannot understand  things as other children  do.

Where  is the natural order  of things in my  son?'

 

The  audience was stilled by  the  query.

 

The father continued. 'I believe   that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and  physically disabled  comes into the world, an  opportunity to realize true human nature presents   itself, and it comes in the way other people treat  that child.'

Then he  told the following  story:

 

Shay and I had walked past a park  where  some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.  Shay asked, 'Do you think  they'll let me play?' I  knew that most of the boys would not want someone   like Shay on their team, but as a  father  Ialso understood that if  my  son were allowed to play, it would give him a  much-needed sense of  belonging and some confidence  to be accepted by others in spite of his   handicaps.

 

I approached one of the boys on  the field and asked (not  expecting much) if Shay  could play. The boy looked around for guidance and   said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in  the eighth inning. I  guess he can be on our team  and we'll try to put him in to bat in the  ninth  inning.'

 

Shay struggled over to the team's  bench and, with a  broad smile, put on a team  shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye  and  warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being   accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth  inning, Shay's team scored a few  runs but was  still behind by  three.

In the top of the ninth inning,   Shay put on a glove and played in the right field.  Even though no hits  came his way, he was obviously  ecstatic just to be in the game and on the  field,  grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the  stands.

In  the bottom of the ninth  inning, Shay's team scored  again.

Now, with two  outs and the  bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and  Shay  was scheduled to be next at  bat.

 

At this juncture, do they let  Shay  bat and give away their chance to win the  game?

Surprisingly, Shay was   given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all  but impossible because  Shay didn't even know how  to hold the bat properly, much less connect with   the  ball.

 

However, as Shay stepped up to  the

plate, the pitcher,   recognizing that the other team was putting  winning aside for this moment  in Shay's life,  moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay   could at least make  contact.

The first pitch came and Shay  swung  clumsily and  missed.

The pitcher again took a few  steps forward to toss  the ball softly towards  Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung  at the  ball and hit a slow ground ball right back  to the  pitcher.

 

The game  would now be  over.

The pitcher picked up the soft  grounder and could  have easily thrown the ball to  the first  baseman.

Shay would have been  out  and that would have been the end of the  game.

Instead, the  pitcher threw  the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of  reach  of all team  mates.

Everyone from the stands and both  teams started  yelling, 'Shay, run to  first!

Run to  first!'

Never in his life had  Shay  ever run that far, but he made it to first  base.

He scampered down  the  baseline, wide-eyed and  startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to   second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards  second, gleaming and  struggling to make it to the  base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball.  The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the  tag, but he understood  the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally   threw the ball high and far over the  third-baseman's  head.

Shay ran  toward third base  deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the   bases toward  home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the   plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team 'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to   another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully   embrace her little hero of the day!