Dick, Jane & Spot

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis
and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and
agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month.
Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came
time for Dick and Jane Brown to have the dinner at their house, like
most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that
was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.
A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided
to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some
mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted
to pay.
She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because
they are too expensive."
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those
mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."
She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild
mushrooms are poison."
He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the
time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in
the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the
wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get
them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back
porch and go t Ol ' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double
handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol'
Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.
All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to
affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to
come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap
on her head. It was first class all the way.
After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and
socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.
About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and
whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed
down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will
call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there.
We'll give
everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach.
Everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."
It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the
ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got
out with their  suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor
arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the
master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think
everything will be fine now, and he left."
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and
about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that
fellow that ran
over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!!"