Wedding test

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man.    My wonderful girlfriend

and I had been dating for over a year, and so we

decided to get married. There was only one

little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful

younger sister.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

would regularly bend down when she was near

me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

near anyone else.


One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to

come over to check the wedding invitations. She was

alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she

had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go

up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned

and made a beeline straight to the front door. I

opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing

outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and

said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our

little test. We couldn't ask for a better

man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:  

Always keep your condoms in your car.  
Have a fabulous day....

Proud to be from West Virginia

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the
conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more
than 100 years ago.
 
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a
California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a
story in the LA Times read: 'California archaeologists, finding traces
of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already
had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier
than the New Yorkers.'
 
One week later, the Moundsville Daily Echo, a local newspaper in Moundsville WV
reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture
near Proctor, Bubba Brown, a self-taught archaeologist reported
that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300
years ago WV had already gone wireless.

Just makes you proud to be from West Virginia, don't it?

Crude but worth it :-D

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771127

Very funny ... some language

And you thought your girlfriend was bad...

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1918771

Stunning list of achievements

Stunning list of achievements

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special
Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and
incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a
thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing
videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly
narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have
approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the
non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a
minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with
people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you
have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco
de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of
May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again,
would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word advice would you have
hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and
potatoe as "proof" of
what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a
single tr
ee on "Earth Day", would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low
over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan
causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually
"get" what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter
installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have
laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and
is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims
throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in
New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political
issue with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major
corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so,
would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had
taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you
have  approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again 10 times
within years, would you have approved?

 

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM
stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you
have approved?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take
Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant
and impressive? Can't think of anything?  Don't worry. He's done all
this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come
up with an answer.