Men are just happier people

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE   NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah. If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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Money Coming Your Way...............

Money Goddess

This is a Money Goddess.  Pass it to 5 of your good friends, or family and be rich

in 4 Days. 
Pass it to 10 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days. 
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!   
                                                                          
SHE WORKS!!!  SHE REALLY WORKS!!

TOO BUSY FOR A FRIEND

One day a
teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

 

Then
she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It
took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that
individual.

On
Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant
anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.
 

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on...
 

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that
special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

 


The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

 

 

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said:
"Mark talked about you a lot."

 


After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon.
Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

 

 

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his
pocket "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

 

 

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my
desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

 

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at
all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists"

 
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Guts or Balls?

Guts or balls?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? 
 
In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
 
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
 
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of  perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: You're next, Chubby.'
 
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. 
 
Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both result  in death.

MOTIVATION

 

I don't mind coming to work, But that eight hour wait, to go home, is the "killer!!!! "