Living in 2007

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1.  You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2.  You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.  You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of  three.

4.  You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5.  Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6.  You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7.  Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8.  Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.  

10.  You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.  : )

12.  You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13.  Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15.  You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to! 

A must read !!!

What goes around comes around.
I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow,
a week from now, a month from now, a year from now...

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and 4 yr old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together every night at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life.."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.!


The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship

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The game is on....

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

Good way to start the day

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HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

  1. Open a new file in your computer.

  2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"

  3. Send it to the trash.

  4. Empty the trash.

  5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of Hillary Rodham Clinton?"

  6. Firmly Click "Yes

  7. Feel better.

Surgery

A very sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she
wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose
and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery
be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three
roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she
immediately called in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to
tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality
and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went
through this all by yourself.
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery
and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some
time ago.
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to
thank you for his new ears."