The Poll Results Are In

An exhaustive scientific poll was taken by the Texas governor's office
wherein over 300,000 Texas residents were asked whether they think illegal
immigration is a serious problem in Texas:

21% responded, "Yes, it is a serious problem."

79% responded, "No es una problema seriosa."

Economy Fix!

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg , FL Times Newspaper on Sunday.

The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"

I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings -

Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered-

Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage-

Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, please disregard. Then shoot yourself!!!! 1 job opening

Good information

This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.
 
GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game.
 
Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans.
 
Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been
prominently mounted on the dashboard.
 
When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.
 
The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so
they knew how much time they had to clean out the house.
 
It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.
 
MOBILE PHONES
I never thought of this..........

This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names onher mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen.
 
20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phonetelling him what had happened, hubby says 'Ireceived your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'
 
When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their
bank account.
 
Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list.

Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....

And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.

Obama's Panic

President Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked

 in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
 
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white, he called his doctor and told him
of his problem.
 
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination,
the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to
drink it all.
 
Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullshit!'
 
The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.

Happy Married Life

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So he said to his new wife , 'Honey, I'll be right back.' 'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife. 'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. I'm going to have a beer.' The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop.. but at the bar. You know, they have frozen glasses. ' He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer - so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious. I won't be long. I'll be right back, I promise. OK?' 'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches. 'But my sweet honey at the bar you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that.' 'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR FRICKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR DAMNED HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A BAR... THAT SHIT'S OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?' And they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?