A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.
So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Witness
A man walks into a bank, gets in line and when it was his turn he pulled
out a gun and robs the bank. But just to make sure he leaves no
witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line: "Did
you see me rob this bank?" to which the customer replies "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it at the customer's head and
BANG!!, shoots and kills him.
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did
you see me rob this bank???"
The man calmly replies, "No, but my wife did."
witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line: "Did
you see me rob this bank?" to which the customer replies "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it at the customer's head and
BANG!!, shoots and kills him.
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did
you see me rob this bank???"
The man calmly replies, "No, but my wife did."
Sheriff Joe (This is TRUE)
You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells
pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb.
Well.........
SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!
Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!
Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and
dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.
The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the
strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who
are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt
an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and
had them place in dog shows.
The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted
a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all
shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.
The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just
to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He
pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.
I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail
system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where
inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work
and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer.
It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas
tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.
Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote.
Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that
has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal
aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40
deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new
buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA, ARIZONA
COUNTY SHERIFF , WHERE HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail':
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving, and now charges the inmates for them.
No smoking or porno magazines are allowed in the jails.
Took away the prisoners weights
Cut off all but 'G' movies.
;He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a Federal Court Order that required cable
TV for jails so he hooked up the cable TV again, but only let in the Disney Channel and
The Weather Channel. When asked why The Weather Channel, he replied, 'So they will know
how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.'
He also cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told
them, 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton.....If you don't like it, don't come back.'
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape and he pipes it into the jails. When asked by
a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a Democratic lecture series
might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
More On The Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record),
the Associated Press Reports:
About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County
Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On
Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted
in the tents, where it reached 138 degrees inside the week before.
Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down
to their PINK SOCKS. 'It feels like we are in a furnace,' said James Zanzot, an inmate who has
lived in the TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city, and long ago started making his prisoners
wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told
all of the inmates:
'It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear,
But they didn't commit any crimes to get there, so shut your mouths!'
Way To Go, Sheriff!
Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals
should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and
commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't
afford to have for themselves.
pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb.
Well.........
SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!
Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!
Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and
dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.
The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the
strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who
are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt
an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and
had them place in dog shows.
The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted
a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all
shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.
The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just
to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He
pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.
I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail
system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where
inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work
and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer.
It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas
tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.
Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote.
Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that
has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal
aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40
deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new
buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA, ARIZONA
COUNTY SHERIFF , WHERE HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail':
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving, and now charges the inmates for them.
No smoking or porno magazines are allowed in the jails.
Took away the prisoners weights
Cut off all but 'G' movies.
;He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a Federal Court Order that required cable
TV for jails so he hooked up the cable TV again, but only let in the Disney Channel and
The Weather Channel. When asked why The Weather Channel, he replied, 'So they will know
how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.'
He also cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told
them, 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton.....If you don't like it, don't come back.'
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape and he pipes it into the jails. When asked by
a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a Democratic lecture series
might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
More On The Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record),
the Associated Press Reports:
About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County
Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On
Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted
in the tents, where it reached 138 degrees inside the week before.
Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down
to their PINK SOCKS. 'It feels like we are in a furnace,' said James Zanzot, an inmate who has
lived in the TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city, and long ago started making his prisoners
wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told
all of the inmates:
'It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear,
But they didn't commit any crimes to get there, so shut your mouths!'
Way To Go, Sheriff!
Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals
should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and
commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't
afford to have for themselves.
No Bull. . . . .
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow every day!.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical
to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
The Brick
Note from James: I try not to post repeats, of which this one I think I have posted before, but had to because the story is so inspiring and really puts into context one of the bigger threats to western culture... our own tunnel vision, enjoy!
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. "
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was
traveling down a neighborhood street,
going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
He was watching for kids darting out
from between parked cars
and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to
the spot where the brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car,
grabbed the nearest kid and
pushed him up against a parked car shouting,
"What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are! you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is
going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic.
"Please, mister..please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"
He pleaded.
"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face
and off his chin, the youth pointed to a
spot just around a parked car.
"It's my brother," he said.
"He rolled off the curb and fell
out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive,
"Would you please help me get him back into his
wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat
He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into
the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the
fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay..
"Thank you and may God bless you,"
the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched
the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the
sidewalk toward their home
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.
The damage was very noticeable,
but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side
door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message
"Don't go through life so fast that someone
has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts.
Sometimes when we don't have time to listen,
He has to throw a brick at us.
It's our choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to
bless, . God didn't promise days without
pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He
did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
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